Why Men Need More Close Male Friends
(not just the “friends” they know from school, work, or family)
Men tend not to ask for help when they need it. Men who have few or any close relationships have more health problems and die sooner than those with close male friends.
Men have an innate biosocial need for close, supportive male relationships. Without close relationships, men will have an overbearing sense of loneliness.
Since the beginning of time, humans have developed groups, tribes, towns, countries all as a way to bring people together. Now technically men don’t need to be in groups to survive, but evolution hasn’t removed that instinct that drives the need to be in groups.
Today it is common for men to not have close relationships with other men because they were out advancing in their career and not focusing on social life.
They may have surface relationships. Relationships of convenience like family members, colleagues, or their wife’s friends husbands. These type of relationships do not fill the void or loneliness that intimate relationships fill.
Why The Huntington Beach Mens Group Was Created
We wanted to help men in Huntington Beach, CA create and maintain lifelong relationships with other men. To develop lasting close friendships that so many men are craving.
One loyal friend is worth 10,000 relatives. ~ Euripides
The Story of The Founder Carl Wells
Although I have had lots of male friends in childhood, and some good ones in later life, I pretty much took this good fortune for granted. I was spoiled.
In the early easy friend making time, I became friends with several boys who were neighbors on the street where I was raised. We were all a year or 2 of the same age.
Like many men, I gradually have had fewer friends and felt lonelier. However, I didn’t realize the need to put out more effort than I did because I didn’t have to when I was in the ‘easy friends’ days. So, I began to study about making friends, including reading an account of a psychologist in the Bay area who found himself with no male friends after being married for 30 years and raising children. He finally made some close friends after a lot of soul-searching.
Some 25 years ago, during my effort to make a close male friends I formed a friendship with a man who lived many years in Huntington Beach. I inherited a group of his friends. He became my best friend for the last 25 years until July 2017 when he was swept off a trail by rushing water. Two years ago my best friend from childhood was run over by a car and died instantly.
The experiences of fewer male friends and these losses motivated me to create a men’s group.